There is a code and it may not be what you expect.
When we consider "attractive" things, we consider people, homes, paintings or even clothes. These things are often synonymous with wealth, but attractiveness is more than status or economy. The real code to attractiveness lies within our skills of communication. Every person can display attractive communication when interacting with others. Attractive communication creates lasting personal and professional relationships, leads to cooperative resolutions and, ultimately, greater happiness.
Communication impacts all of us in this world in very powerful ways. We communicate in our personal and business lives. We communicate with ourselves through "self-talk" every time we have a thought. We communicate with our eyes, facial expressions, body expressions, postures, gestures and mannerisms. Even the tone of our voices, the distances we keep, and the ways we touch others constitute communication.
When we communicate to ourselves that we hold the keys to our happiness, we convey highly attractive messages of inner power and predictability that leads to trust by others. We have the power to control how we feel because we do not depend on others and external events to make us happy. We feel more certain because we know what we need to do for ourselves to make us happy. Because we know ourselves, we know more and wonder less.
Before jumping into the content of our communications with those we are communicating with, we can increase the attractiveness of our communications by expressing attractive greetings. After communicating the content of our communications, we can elevate the attractiveness of our communications by expressing attractive good-byes.
In the content of our communication we should provide something thoughtful or valuable--without demanding anything in return. This "gift" we give to others is based on the Law of Reciprocity that flows from the Law of Love. The communication gifts that we give attract positive responses.
Are you putting the Law of Reciprocity to work for you?
Reciprocation flows from Divine Law that can neither be ignored or put aside. Perhaps, the most important of these laws is the 'law of love.' Put simply, "Love is Law, Law is Love. God is Love, Love is God." This amounts to the same thing as "the gift of giving" without the "hope of reward or pay," or serving others. This 'law of love' is identified in many different ways--for example, in Wayne Baker's bestseller, "Achieving Success Through Social Capital" (Jossey-Bass), this law of love in the workplace is described as the "law of reciprocity."
The law of reciprocity is not what can best be described as "transactional reciprocity." Baker says that, "Many people conceive of their business dealings as spot market exchanges--value given for value received, period. Nothing more, nothing less. This tit-for-tat mode of operation can produce success, but it doesn't invoke the power of reciprocity and so fails to yield extraordinary success."
Baker explains, "The lesson is that we cannot pursue the power of reciprocity. When we try to invoke reciprocity directly, we lose sight of the reason for it: helping others. Paradoxically, it is in helping others without expecting reciprocity in return that we invoke the power of reciprocity. The path to reciprocity is indirect: reciprocity ensues from the social capital built by making contributions to others.
The deliberate pursuit of reciprocity fails, just like the pursuit of happiness. Acts of contribution, big and small, build your fund of social capital, creating a vast network of reciprocity. And so those who help you may not be those you help. The help you receive may come from distant corners of your network."
In Michael Rooni's "Attractive Communication," the author has created a reference tool of 300 ways or concepts to improve your communications and circumstances. The five key sections that add to your skill set are: interpersonal communication; non-verbal communication; communication timing and surroundings; listening, persuasion and dispute resolution; and intrapersonal communication (self-talk). Consider this book as a guidebook that provides you with principles and corresponding positive actions.
