Love and the Attraction Paradox

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Love and the Attraction Paradox

In love and marriage, most of us believe that opposites attract.

However, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of the online dating service eHarmony.com, is not a big believer in the concept that opposites attract. Even if they do, he argues, they won't last. As a marriage counselor, he says, he performed hundreds of "autopsies" on failed relationships and realized that most of the people didn't belong together in the first place.

So eHarmony.com and other online dating services are offering compatibility questionnaires to determine where a potential match exists. Yahoo! Personals has developed personality tests that put like-minded members together. And Match.com is offering dating advice from TV's Dr. Phil McGraw.

Increased competition in the half-a-billion-dollar-a-year online dating industry has slowed to 6% from 70% a few years ago. "It's a sign of maturity of the category," says Nate Elliott, online dating analyst at Internet research firm JupiterResearch.

More than a third of all online daters are over 45 and 19% make more than $100,000 a year, says Hitwise. Industry pioneer Match.com reports that 7% of its 8 million members call themselves executives (while the government classifies 4% of the workforce as managers).

They're more likely to be divorced (36%), have dogs (30%), and enjoy wine tastings (20%) than other singles. They tend to list their eyes as their best feature. As expected, Manhattan has the highest percentage of execs (29%) who find power a turn-on; Las Vegas has the biggest share (22%) who say money is.

And yes, older men want younger women (even though younger women just aren't into them). Match.com says male execs in L.A. typically seek women 13 years younger. About 25% of eHarmany.com's men over 55 are interested in women 40 or younger.