Technology allows us to communicate at a furious pace...but we connect less and less.
Our ability to reach others has been accelerated but our skills for deep connection are weakened. Whether you're an executive in a large corporation or an entrepreneur building your company, the ability to connect with others is vital.
In "Invectious: How to Connect Deeply and Unleash the Energetic Leader Within" by Achim Nowak introduces Four Levels of Connection; each containing a set of tools that will help anyone better engage with others.
* The Talk Level: the essential skills to creating meaningful conversations
* The Power Level: how to harness your own personal power
* The Intent Level: how to show up alert, with purpose and full awareness of your goals
* The Energy Level: the heart and soul level at which connections happen, personal energy makes for the deepest and most lasting connections.
Achieving mastery of the Four Levels takes some practice in the conversations that you have all the time. You have the brilliant opportunity to practice every day, all the time, any time you want.
It's a gentle practice. It is born of small, deliberate, effortless experiments. It is fueled by a steady mindfulness. It unfolds with grace. The prize is our enjoyment of a deeper connection with folks. The prize, quite simply, is a more satisfying life.
Here are five leadership guiding principles that guide respectful conversations:
1. When peers connect change happens. Effective coaching can happen on the dance floor of conversation. A conversation between two people is always a drive into the unknown. In any given moment, one of the conversationalists is the driver, the other the passenger. Seconds later, the roles may switch. This shifting of roles becomes the unspoken rhythm of the drive. It generates excitement, surprise, danger, ennui. You each are attuned to these rhythms. They shift with ease.
2. Directness makes it easy for the other person to reach beyond the pleasantries.
It's OK to begin a conversation by confronting the other person with questions that seem awkward but set the stage for a respectful exchange. Why waste time on small talk? Just ask to-the-point information-seeking questions, like: "What are you here for? How do you want to spend our time together?"
3. Conversations are not meant to be structured. Be open to conversations that you are unprepared for and focused on the interests of the other person (not your purpose). When we notice an opportunity, things start to happen. When we don't, opportunities slip right by us.
4. Don't get pulled into solving problems that may not matter to the other person. Allow time for the person to get to what's really important. Provide spaces where they can express their doubts and fears by being a thoughtful listener--without taking on the responsibility to fix or debate the issue. After all, you have invited the person to talk about what matters to her or him, not you, so allow time for the articulation of those thoughts and feelings.
5. Personal transformation happens when the right questions get asked--not by providing answers. When you focus on the solution, you are trying to sell the person something. When you allow people to answer their own questions, they discover what they were not aware of---and what is needed to move forward. Personal transformation leads corporate transformation--one person at a time.
Source: Achim Nowak: Infectious: How to Connect Deeply and Unleash the Energetic Leader Within