Every day, we are faced with the task of persuading someone to do what we want them to do. And every day, we expect resistance.
While every situation is different, the basic principle holds true: if you choose to control your emotions--to respond instead of react--you can influence almost every interaction for the better. In the process of becoming a better leader, controlling your emotions comes before every other step, every time.
Every encounter you have with an angry person, with someone who disagrees with you or criticizes you, and every frustrating challenge you face is an opportunity to create a better outcome. And the first step in creating that better outcome is to control yourself--the only part of the situation that is in your power to control.
Though the words respond and react are similar, the difference between the two is quite significant. When you react, you are being controlled by outside circumstances, whether it be a difficult situation or person. When you respond, however, you are in control of yourself, of your emotions.
The leader controls his emotions rather than letting them control his behavior. This self-control is important and powerful not only in what it allows you to do but in who it allows you to be.
Short term, you'll find yourself much more comfortable and relaxed knowing that you can handle any potentially difficult situation that comes your way. Long term, you'll have a true feeling, inside and out, of self-confidence for having handled countless situations that previously would have thrown you for a loop and perhaps, upset your entire day.
So, how do you develop response consciousness? The same way you develop any other skill; you practice. Practice responding to normally difficult situations and people throughout the day, taking pleasure in your victories.
Source: Bob Burg: Adversaries into Allies: Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion