To help extract the full potential of individuals and teams, we engage coaches and find others who have specialized expertise and knowledge to advance skill development and learning.
Mentoring is just one of many examples of efforts organized to support others with specialized teaching and guidance. It is a potential-developing process that has changed history, from Socrates to Aristotle and Plato.
Authors Stephen E. Kohn and Vincent D. O'Connell recognize the value of great mentors in their new book, "9 POWERFUL PRACTICES OF REALLY GREAT MENTORS: How to Inspire and Motivate Anyone," through a set of proven techniques for those who serve as mentors in the workplace.
When you choose to become a support-providing helper to another person--as a mentor is--you will need to develop and apply skills that are so common to effective teachers, advisors, or those who guide others professionally that these skills are almost like second nature.
Whether you are a coach, therapist, manager or in a mentoring role to a protégé, you will perform your role with more success if you demonstrate a set of "people" or "soft" skills that typify those with the capability to nurture an other-oriented, growth-focused relationship.
Many of the core attributes of an effective mentor/coach are captured in the concepts of that define one's emotional intelligence (EQ). To be an effective mentor, your EQ (level of emotional intelligence) needs to be at least as high as your IQ (more academic or conceptual understanding-based smarts).
Three principles of facilitating self-learning that are fundamental to implementing the helping role effectively:
1. Self-actualization: Mentoring addresses the real-life issues of fulfillment in one's work life, such as, "What is the meaning of what I do professionally?"
2. Self-Awareness-Building: It takes courage and emotional will to explore one's strengths and challenges. Mentors must engender an ongoing and open exploration of the protégé's self-awareness. Emotional self-awareness is of particular importance.
3. Becoming More Naturally Empathic: Understand the protégé as a person and a professional far before lending any guidance or advice. Mentoring without seeking first to understand is not mentoring at all; it is facile advice-giving without context. Seeking first to understand before needing to be understood is a proxy for developing theskill of empathy.
Empathy, like mentoring, is by nature almost the opposite of the "quick fix." To be an effective mentor, one should be listening 80% of the time and speaking 20% of the time, on average. Listening is a skill that can be developed with discipline and focus, even if you feel it does not come naturally to you.
Source: Stephen Kohn: 9 Powerful Practices of Really Great Mentors: How to Inspire and Motivate Anyone